Hi Christine,
I was in the same boat as you. I knew the way I was headed because I'd been there before, so I got into counselling as quickly as possible. But since then, I've just gone more and more down hill (not as a result of the counselling I might add!) and the talking has just got harder and harder. Often I just sit there going 'yeah','mmm' etc, because talking about it is just too much effort. Luckily, my counsellor is very, very patient!!
Focussing on the positives though, the main thing is that you DO have someone to talk to. Ok, so it may not be an ideal situation, but at the same time, it may be the better option to talk to your GP: he or she will be better equiped than a counsellor to take practical steps to help you on your way to recovery.
For Example, when I get to the point of being extremely suicidal, I always choose to ring the Out-of-Hours GP service rather than the Samaritans (truley wonderful as they are), because I feel that I'm doing more good with the more practical approach to the situation.
Counselling may still be worth a shot though. I know the thought of opening up to someone you've never met can be extremely daunting, but I always come out of my appointments feeling better than when I went in.
Wishing you all the best. Take care,
Xx